Taking The Lead
by Steven R. Wertz
Question from a parent
My volunteers understand how to "follow" my child when she wants
to do a self-stimulating behavior. But often they follow continuously
when it seems to me that they could be introducing something new. How
can I teach them when it’s a good time to introduce an activity?
Often my child is doing a self-stimulating behavior sporadically, and
is not entrenched in it. Is it okay to introduce something new at that
time?
Steven
There are certain principles that can help you decide when to lead and
when to follow.
First of all, it sounds as though you have focused on following your child as a way to improve the quality of your child’s relationships. This is wonderful. There are so many things that can be gained from doing this. Your child may be looking at you more, communicating more, showing more expressions of affection, taking turns, participating in activities, responding to your requests and/or paying attention for longer periods of time. You might feel that your child is more present with the other person in the room for longer periods of time, and that it is much easier to get and keep a deeper rapport.
Sometimes,
when people have seen so many gains from following the child, they are
reluctant to rock the boat by taking the lead. In most programs, I believe
that this is a mistake. The activities in the sessions may become old
and routine; the child can become bored; there might be more acting out
behavior. Sometimes when there is nothing new presented, the child falls
back on old habitual activities. He/she might begin to use more self-stimulating
rituals, but without much intensity or investment. They may appear to
expect that they are there to be followed and to be served like "little
princes" or "little princesses." They look as if they believe
that everything they want should happen with no effort on their part.
When this continues for a while, the words people use to describe their
programs are "stalled" and "stuck."
Before things get to this point, it is a great idea to begin taking the lead. When you have followed your child and built a deep connection, there is more trust and fewer control issues. Often at this point, when the child knows that they can say "no" or "stop" — and you do — they will permit you to take the lead much more frequently.
At times, children on the autistic spectrum will become somewhat stubborn. They may think that you will always follow their lead, and they may resist your direction. If you feel comfortable and sure of yourself, and if the rapport is good, and if you are clear that this is a logical next step, you can help your child become accustomed to trading the lead.
When to lead?
I. Play sessions
In play sessions, if you have a good rapport and a sense that there
is trust, take the lead when your child is not involved in something else.
Have fun things to present, and be ready to pull them out at a moment’s
notice. You might want to begin the session by following, if even for
a couple of minutes. Then, if your child is not involved in another activity,
take the lead. Request, introduce, present. If your child is mildly involved
in a self-stimulating behavior, you might go ahead and introduce something.
Your child can choose. If he or she wants to continue the repetitious
behavior you can join with them wholeheartedly for a time. Or, they might
decide to follow you in what you are introducing. There are usually no
difficulties if you are comfortable either way your child decides to go.
II.
Lesson Time
Begin introducing periods of about 20 - 30 minutes in length where
you are taking the lead. You could call these times "School Time"
or "Lesson Time." Start by creating a visual schedule for your
child which includes these marvelous Lesson Times. Let your child know
that this is happening by ringing a bell, putting on an apron marked teacher,
using a special desk, or by creating other visual and auditory cues that
show that this is Lesson Time. Challenging table work could be done to
foster pre-academic skills during this enjoyable time. During this part
of your sessions, you take the lead. Sometimes the Lesson Time can be
person specific, with an experienced person (you, a volunteer, or an aide)
who comes in to teach. We find that children soon get the idea that this
is a special time for them to "follow." Often, children learn
quickly to love this part of the session and find it stimulating.
Balance
The key is balance. When you have a connection and have built a strong
relationship with your child, you can help your child tremendously by
trading the lead. You can create an exciting and interesting agenda of
activities and help your child move developmentally. You really can educate
your child and help them to become ready for school. However, if suddenly
everyone in your program is making strong requests, it can be overwhelming
for your child. If, on the other hand, people generally don’t challenge
and stimulate the child enough, the program will become boring. The key
again is balance.
In summary, it is a good idea to precede and follow Lesson Times with less structured and easier activities where the child takes the lead. Second, have some of the more experienced people in your program be more proactive about taking the lead. Third, expand or decrease how much you are directing based on your child’s response. Lastly, keep a record of how much directing is taking place and what happens as a result.
If your child is in good rapport, he or she is ready to trade the lead. If you are having fun, if you are not needing results and you are not afraid to passionately rock the boat and help your child move forward, you are ready.
Note: If you would like input on this point in your program, e-mail or call the Growing Minds Program at (561)748-9697 and ask for a video consultation.
Helpful Reminders about
Taking The Lead
- Take the lead only after you have developed an excellent rapport and
have built a strong relationship with your child.
- If your child is not involved in an activity or only mildly involved
in a self stimulating behavior, try introducing an activity of your
choosing. Let your child decide if he/she wants to participate in your
activity or if they would prefer for you to follow them.
- Create a visual schedule for your child which includes specific times
for Lessons, and announce them with enjoyable auditory and visual cues
such as ringing a bell or wearing an apron with the word "Teacher"
on it.
- Have an experienced person in your program (you or a volunteer) introduce
the concept of Lesson Times and the idea of sharing the lead.
- Expand or decrease how much you are directing (leading) based on your
child’s response.
- Keep a record of the amount of directing that is taking place and
the results.
Precede and follow Lesson Times with less structured and easy activities where the child takes the lead.
Copyright
© 2001, Special Solutions, Inc.
15096 115th Avenue North, Jupiter, Florida 33478
Phone: 561-748-9697 Fax: 561-748-6543
Copyright © Growing Minds Autism Programs,
1999
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